RABBIT!RABBIT!RABBIT!

(RABBIT! RABBIT !RABBIT was an old mid western radio station greeting my brother Bob and I used to have for each other when we would all or write on the first of the month. It meant that if you told someone" rabbit, rabbit,rabbit" on the first of the month---you would not have a fight with them the rest of the month. We always joked about saying it,but we both always said it. Of course, this tongue in cheek greeting did not work this time!)

When they found a lump on my breast and I needed a biopsy,my knee-jerk reaction was that if I had cancer I was not going though chemotherapy and all that stuff! And when I called my brother in Wisconsin the week before I said that just before I hung up. I told them I would call when I found out anything.

I called brother Bob and Jo this a.m. to tell them that my breast biopsy was benign.

Only after I spoke with him did I realize how worried he was. I said I had no idea how worried he had been---he called me a "presumptuous bitch!" For not thinking how upset he would be.

" God Damn it! Next time you got something wrong don't tell me if you are not going to do any thing about it. Did I tell you about my heart surgery before I had it?"

I replied laughingly," No damn it but, I wanted to know and that pissed me off! I want to know when something is wrong with you whether you are going to do something about it or not. I still want to know." I was laughing so hard by this time I had disarmed his anger.

He tried hard to be angry and continued on with his very serious scolding. He couldn't quite make it and when he realized he had been over taken by my laughter he said," Well, moving right along, how are you, otherwise?" and we chatted on until and I apologized for not thinking he would be concerned.
Later that evening I wrote him this note:
February 1,1997
Dear Brother,
"Presumptuous Bitch” really. Mother always said I would be the one to have
the "potty mouth "!!!!

I really like my new moniker so much I'm thinking of having a desk nameplate made. Of course it would have to read PB J and we would all know that it would not stand for peanut butter and jelly but rather "Presumptuous Bitch Jean"!

Gee, Brother and Sister, did I ever tell you how great it is to have you love me? Love you, too.
As ever,
PBJ P.S. My Darling, Brother , I shall always thumb my nose at life and it problems. It is my built-in survival kit. Too old to change, Sweetie.

(A few months later I came out of the closet and my dear Brother whom I adored never spoke to me again! I never thought it could happen. He died in June 2002 and I still remember him fondly everyday.)